Crimson on Water

One day two good friends, Charlie and Toni, had a chat and exclaimed how great it would be to have a means to post or publish their conversations. A place where Womyn can go and be Womyn. An avenue to freely express their thoughts and concerns. An arena to discuss issues that are close to their hearts. This is that place. So be amused. Get naked. Open your eyes and plunge into Crimson on Water.

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Location: Philippines

Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Lover, Friend. I am Woman.

Monday, April 24, 2006

April 5, 2006, Early morning conversations

CHARLIE: was it worth it?
CHARLIE: the trade off we made?
CHARLIE: to live our lives as we saw fit, not to succumb to the system
TONI: yeah.... still struggling with that question
CHARLIE: but to pay the price at the end?
CHARLIE: ako I have my regrets
CHARLIE: I could have done better, I know
CHARLIE: but I chose not to
CHARLIE: it was a stupid decision
CHARLIE: on my part that is
CHARLIE: I’ve made my peace
CHARLIE: now I’m trying to just rise above the stupid cloud of idealism I thought would carry me upwards
TONI: agree... just live with the decision I guess... no use looking back
CHARLIE: yeah, it just gets you more frustrated. ako when I had my awakening, damn girl, I wanted to deck myself and say stupid, stupid, stupid
CHARLIE: arrogantly stupid
CHARLIE: hehehehe
CHARLIE: but ayan na, so no use pondering about it anymore
TONI: haaaaay buhay!
TONI: we shouldn’t fault ourselves for our idealism -
TONI: pero masyado talagang mababaw ang mundong ito para sa atin - we're ahead of our time
CHARLIE: hehehehe, but you said it girl --- hay buhay --- which means may pag-asa pa, at we could still rectify things
CHARLIE: hahahaha, avant-garde ba
CHARLIE: hindi nga, seryoso, minsan I felt like decking the teachers we had back then
CHARLIE: they made us feel so good and so damn brilliant
CHARLIE: ang problema, nobody was clear-headed enough to tell us
CHARLIE: that hey, youth is only a fleeting thing, the lifestyle you have now will stop
CHARLIE: once you have a family of your own, that's when reality would hit
TONI: if only we could hit reality back (hehe)
CHARLIE: that's when life would catch up, and are you ready for that
TONI: seriously, we still are brilliant
TONI: we're gems
TONI: and the world will be sorry for not realizing how precious we are
CHARLIE: would you be able to handle REAL life or will all you ever have would be your footnotes of your youth?
CHARLIE: hahahaha, you think so?
TONI: but one thing I could say **C failed to tell us - that it really is a man's world...
CHARLIE: that thought made me smile
TONI: I believe we are
CHARLIE: hmmm... true, that too
CHARLIE: they should have taught us that and then taught us how to manipulate these men
CHARLIE: bwahahahaha
CHARLIE: modern geishas
CHARLIE: without the sex of course
CHARLIE: bwahahahaha
TONI: I mean it - sometimes I feel so stupid that I didn’t grab the opportunities I had back then, but there will be those moments when people just come up to me, praising me for being who I am - smart, and capable of doing anything
TONI: (oh, but sex is so much fun)
TONI: kidding! Hehehehe
CHARLIE: that's the sad part, we're all that: smart, responsible, creative, critical thinkers, and yet what?????
CHARLIE: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
CHARLIE: hehehehe --- kidding
TONI: but really, we are capable of anything - mahirap lang talaga sa mundong ito, mababaw, makitid ang utak, at pinamumunuan ng mga lalake...
CHARLIE: agree --- sex is deliciously sinful
CHARLIE: bwahahahaha
CHARLIE: pero kasi if you think about it, we could still move within that world, within that context and made it to the top
TONI: kaya kung babae ka na in your late twenties and up, tapos de-pamilya ka pa, kahit na lamang ka sa abilidad at katalinuhan, di ka bibigyan ng chance
TONI: if only we compromised our ideals
CHARLIE: ang naging problema, we became too idealistic
CHARLIE: ayun patay
CHARLIE: that's it, oh well, it was great di ba
CHARLIE: if you remember those days
CHARLIE: yun nga lang, may price
CHARLIE: and we're paying it now
CHARLIE: hehehehe, but I guess I’m still idealistic enough to think that
CHARLIE: we'll be able to redeem ourselves someday
CHARLIE: hahahaha
TONI: but we can still be successful in the world's context - but would we be willing to pay the price?
TONI: everything has a price kasi eh
TONI: I know people who succeed professionally but are miserable in their personal lives
TONI: bihira talaga ang maka strike ng balance
TONI: but you're right, we can still redeem ourselves
TONI: I have a feeling that in the end, we'll be the ones laughing
CHARLIE: oo nga, true, grabe, you hit the spot
CHARLIE: as womyn, we really do have to make a choice
CHARLIE: career or family
CHARLIE: I don't think anyone has ever struck the balance right
CHARLIE: talagang one or the other would be sacrificed, it cannot be helped
CHARLIE: ang lungkot
CHARLIE: we have to make the ultimate decision to stand behind our husbands
TONI: yup
TONI: we are successful in our own right, but the world might not see it that way. and if we stick to the world's standards, we'll definitely feel awful.
TONI: like we missed out on something sooooo great.
CHARLIE: oo nga, correct
CHARLIE: tama ka diyan
TONI: singit lang - isn't it great that we get to chat about these things?
CHARLIE: oo nga, kasi nobody else would understand
CHARLIE: hehehehe
TONI: I really think we should do something, either publish a book or create a club or something hehehehe
TONI: btw, just sharing, a friend of mine has a group that blogs about food. I mean, if someone can blog about food... (thought left unfinished).
CHARLIE: sige, let's do it
CHARLIE: we could open a friendster account or something
TONI: yeah yeah
CHARLIE: kasi there are issues about women that are not discussed openly
CHARLIE: and they should be tackled
TONI: exactly!
TONI: how about
TONI: or is it
CHARLIE: hmmm... I don't know ... hehehe, not much of a blogger
TONI: hehehe, it's like friendster din, but blogspot isn’t banned from **B
CHARLIE: ok yun
TONI: lets talk about our plan later on and get the details so we can set up our online thing
CHARLIE: ok, I’m in, but you know what would be good
TONI: what?
CHARLIE: if we actually do it through a short story format
CHARLIE: not a typical blog
TONI: ok, ok, your call
CHARLIE: that way, we could get more readers
CHARLIE: one good way to start it, is by copying this YM exchange
TONI: sige, I’ll ask my friend how to set up blogspot
CHARLIE: whaddya' think?
TONI: great idea
CHARLIE: ok, yehey

Monday, April 17, 2006

Raison d' etre

Water being the woman's element and Crimson for a lot of things... mainly how we sometimes feel, our monthly cycles, and the fire within every woman.